no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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