adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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