we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
