Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
