she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
