come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You may now shotgun with the bride
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
