i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
