At least make sure they are 18
Why
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
