Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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