I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There's always time for handjobs
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
