I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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