capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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