I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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