Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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