I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
