I didn't shave. On purpose
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she peed on how many people?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
