are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize