If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
