If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
