jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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