i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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