He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
