am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
