my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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