Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
