We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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