My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
