you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
