it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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