Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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