I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
