Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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