I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
