from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
