Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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