Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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