The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize