did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
