Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
