why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
