just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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