I hate your face
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
