Someone shattered a urinal.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
