can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i would one night stand the shit outta him
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
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