One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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