She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
