I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
