She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
