Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
