I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
