dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
