I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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