ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
