I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
