Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
