Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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