as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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