This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
