Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
