My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
