no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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